Endure
by Gysecune
Summary: For Gippalai Day. Gippal's latenight obsession with peanut butter sandwiches leads to a discussion about an incident he'd rather forget.


Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X-2 or its respective characters.

A/N: Hey, I had to do something for Gippalai Day! Hence this little one-shot. This fic goes out to the Gippalai pairing and also SakuraBubbles the Muffin Child and Hidama, because they came up with the day, and they're both really awesome authors. :D Contains boys loving each other. If this isn't your cup of tea, you ought to go back. And italics equal flashbacks.

Endure

Another night. Another sandwich. And this had been going on for a week.

The knife Gippal held in his hand dipped in and out of the jar of peanut butter before he skillfully spread it over the piece of bread, making sure not to miss a single centimeter. Satisfied, he folded the bread in half. Instant peanut butter sandwich.

He was all by himself in a tent that served as a makeshift kitchen outside Djose Temple. It was crowded inside with tables and chairs, which Gippal was now taking advantage of. He was just about to take a bite of the delectable, delicious, irresistible sandwich –

"You've grown quite attached to those..."

"Rumo cred! (Holy shit!)" Gippal whirled around in his seat.

From the light of the lanterns in the tent, he could see that it was who he had guessed from his voice. Baralai.

Inhaling deeply, he attempted to calm his nerves. "Baralai..." he breathed. "Shit, you scared me."

"Sorry." Baralai took a seat next to him. "It's almost dawn, you know."

"So? It's not like I never stay up this late."

"You never did it this often, and I can't recall you ever eating this much peanut butter."

Gippal watched him hesitate and hoped he wouldn't question further. Truthfully, he didn't want to talk about it, because it would only cause him to think about it _more_.

"Do you...have something on your mind?"

_He barreled through the temple, nearly knocking over others in his haste. While he imagined that he was quite the sight, red-faced and panting, he didn't care. Images kept flashing in his mind – Baralai was hurt, dying, hurtdyinghurtbleedingdead – and it wasn't putting a stop to the rush of adrenaline coursing through his body._

"...Yeah," Gippal admitted, avoiding his worried eyes. "I guess you could say that. I just can't sleep."

"Is it the assassination attempt?" Baralai asked, his voice so low that Gippal could barely hear it.

_When he saw the grim expressions Paine and Nooj were wearing outside Baralai's door, a pang shot up through his stomach and dragged his heart down._

_He dimly heard Nooj ask, "Did you run all the way here?"_

_Gippal swallowed and nodded, digging his fingernails into palms as he noticed that Paine's eyes were puffy from crying._

_"He was shot?" He wasn't actually sure if he asked it until Paine answered._

_"Yes..." she replied hoarsely. "An assassination attempt."_

_"E'mm gemm dra vilgehk cuh uv y pedlr fru tet drec du res. (I'll kill the fucking son of a bitch who did this to him.)"_

The silence stretched on between them, and to Gippal, it felt insurmountable. What could he say but the truth?

Finally, when he could stand it no more – "Yeah," he answered quietly, almost swallowing the word before he spoke it. Suddenly, a kind of heat weighed on him, threatening to suffocate.

_The waiting was too long. Gippal was almost sure he never had to wait this long in his entire life for anything. And the whole time, all he could see was Baralai's face._

_At last, someone came out – a woman in temple garb. She pursed her thin lips while eying them disapprovingly._

_There was an uncomfortable silence as both parties stared at each other._

_"May we see him?" Nooj ventured, Gippal guessing for the sake of the "brats." If this lady hadn't been standing, Gippal would've thought she was dead already. She looked _that_ stern and impassive._

_"You don't look like family," she stated tonelessly._

_Gippal wanted to throttle her. Anyone who knew Baralai at all knew that he had no family. His mother had died long ago, and Baralai and his father wanted nothing to do with each other. "We're the closest he has to family," he snapped angrily. Honestly, he was practically out for blood at this point._

_The woman scowled. "I'll tell him you're here," she muttered sourly._

_Though unpleasant, she had given him the information that Baralai was awake, and this relieved him considerably._

"Gippal," Baralai began lightly. "That was a week ago, and there's nothing we can –"

And that was precisely when, deep inside, something cut loose. "You act like it's no big deal at all!" he whispered furiously. "You could've _died_! Do you have any idea how fucking scared I was, waiting to find out whether that shot killed you or not? Do you even _care_?" But he broke off when he caught sight of the wounded expression on Baralai's face.

It hurt him deep inside like nothing else could.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, reaching for Baralai's wrist. "I'm not mad at you, not really... I'm just so...so frustrated..."

"I understand."

"I shouldn't be making excuses, anyway. It's not your fault. I'm not pissed at you... I'm just – just pissed in general."

Baralai wound his fingers around Gippal's. "I would be in your situation, too. But I won't resign."

"I know. To tell you the truth...I wouldn't, either." Gippal leaned forward and rested his head on Baralai's chest.

The beating of his heart was strong. The rise and fall of his ribs was steady.

He was alive.

_Gippal held up fairly well until they witnessed Baralai's state firsthand. He was wrapped in white sheets, bandaged chest poking out, looking far too small in a bed and room far too big. The giant bay windows that Gippal had always loved cast cold, unfeeling light over Baralai's frail body._

_Devastated, Gippal could only stand there, frozen in place as he lived through his worst fears._

_"Gippal." There was a hand at his elbow. Beneath a dizzying kind of haze, he registered it as Paine's._

_Their boots hitting the wooden floor echoed loudly, louder than usual, it seemed. Every step closer to the bed, Baralai appeared to be worse and worse. Gippal's weak greeting caught in his throat._

_Blood was seeping through the bandages._

_Baralai's eyes were bleary, and he blinked up at the ceiling as if confused or bewildered._

Gippal trailed his free hand up to the spot where Baralai had been shot, directly beneath his collarbone, and gently smoothed the fabric there.

"It'll heal," Baralai reassured him, running fingers through his hair. "We all have to take risks..."

"Well, it sucks that you have to take _any_." He rested there, content, simply listening to the sound of Baralai's heart and taking in his scent, when a thought occurred to him. "Oh, I just remembered... Hey, guess what day it is?" Gippal grinned mischievously up at him.

"Our anniversary," Baralai answered without skipping a beat. Happiness was written in the corners of his lips.

"Whoa." Gippal was clearly impressed. "Yeah, it's the day we first kissed." He didn't miss the suspicious glint in Baralai's eyes. "What?"

"You wouldn't...happen to know any other anniversary dates, would you?"

"Ahahaha... Like?" Gippal smirked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Gippal! You know what I'm talking about..."

"Are you blushing?" He peered up at the face above his.

Baralai turned his head away. "...No."

"Yeah, you are." Laughing softly so as not to wake anyone else, Gippal stood up and tugged on Baralai's arm. "C'mon, want to go for a walk?"

"Sure." Baralai rose as well, ready to leave, but he was stopped by Gippal.

"Wait, let me grab a lantern, so we don't fall on our asses in the dark..."

_"Hey." Baralai offered a meek smile._

_Gippal winced at his voice – It was croaky and sounded even groggier than when he woke up in the morning._

_"Hey yourself." He tried to duplicate Baralai's smile but failed miserably. There were no chairs around the bed, so he sat down next to Baralai's prone form and clasped his hand._

_"She's not very friendly to you," he commented. "It's rude, I know... She must have heard the rumors."_

_Gippal had heard them as well. It usually wasn't the most pleasant thing, hearing rumors about yourself, but then, they were true. However, not only was he content in his relationship with Baralai and didn't give a damn what anyone else thought, he openly told them this._

_"Do you remember what happened?"_

_Leave it to Nooj to ask all the serious questions. Gippal knew he wasn't up to it._

_Baralai's jaw tightened, and he closed his eyes in a mockery of sleep, like he was trying very hard to remember. "I just turned around and...fell. I didn't even see him – It happened too fast, but there were others who witnessed it, and he's being dealt with now."_

_"Fuck... I'm going to kill that asshole," Gippal hissed under his breath._

_"He had bad aim. My heart is on the other side of my chest." Baralai rubbed Gippal's thumb, and he guessed that this was an attempt to reassure him._

_It helped a little but not enough._

_"I can't believe this..." Paine murmured. "You almost...really..."_

Once he had a lantern, they were off, hand-in-hand. They would have looked like an everyday young couple in love, Gippal realized, had it not been for a few major factors: it was unusually early in the morning for anyone to be out, they were both well-known political leaders, and – Gippal's favorite – they were both guys.

"It shouldn't matter..." he thought out loud.

"Hm?"

Realizing that Baralai had heard him, Gippal explained, "I was just thinking that it's stupid how people care about us being together."

"It doesn't bother me. I went through it my whole life, so I'm used it now."

Gippal bit his lip, gripping Baralai's hand tighter. "In a perfect world, you wouldn't have to be."

They had been walking down Mi'ihen Highroad and were now at the hill in front of the travel agency where Nooj had shot them. According to Gippal, that hardly affected him now. Or at the very least, he forgave Nooj for something that wasn't his fault.

Gippal set the lantern down between them and sprawled out on his back while Baralai sat down on the other side of the lantern. He was gazing up at the sky, which was now losing its darkness as daylight approached.

"Oh, I think the world's perfect enough. For me, at least," he added, grasping Gippal's hand in his own.

"The only thing that should matter is that I love you," Gippal told him in a small voice. He had heard quite enough taunts and jeering, and it all seemed so pointless. His love for someone shouldn't concern them. Where did it get these people? What satisfaction did it grant them?

"That _is_ the only thing that matters." Baralai stretched out on his back, joining Gippal on the grass. After a moment, he observed, "The sun is rising."

"It's beautiful..." He glanced over at Baralai, admiring the manner in which the first rays of sunlight reflected off his eyes and hair, the way his tan skin shone, the kind of person he was.

Baralai noticed him looking, and wordlessly, he tilted his head closer so that the tips of their noses touched. His eyes fluttered shut, and he brushed his lips against Gippal's. Desperately, needing him, Gippal deepened the kiss as he ran his tongue over Baralai's, exploring every inch that he could and drinking in his taste.

"You taste like peanut butter," Baralai informed him breathlessly, laughing, as they broke apart.

_"When they told me that they weren't sure if I'd survive, I thought of you all." He gazed up at Gippal tiredly. There was something else, too. It was that same something that Baralai had in his eyes before he kissed Gippal or told him that he loved him._

Gippal yawned and nuzzled the crook of Baralai's neck sleepily. Though he had previously been unable to sleep, he now felt as if all his worries had vanished. Maybe they had. For the first time in his life, he was too tired to jump Baralai. He mentally snickered at this, finding it kind of funny.

The warmth of Baralai's arms and the beginning rays of sun comforted him to the point that he could feel himself drifting off.

Playing with the strands of hair behind his ear, Baralai pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I love you."

_"I know now... I won't die."_

Peacefully, Gippal gave in to sleep.

The sun stilled after its routine morning ascent into the sky. The day had begun.


End file.
